In light of the number of enduring international ‘working definitions’ of Parental Alienation (PA), there can be no doubt that it is time to lay far more focus on easing the psychological, emotional, and financial burden placed on families caught in the current crossfire of PA’s devastation.
With so much ground covered, it seems poignant to begin with the term ‘disguised compliance’. A term applied to parents and carers to ear-mark potential barriers to positive change in the best interest of their children. I often wonder about the limitations of its dynamic benefits. Should its equivalent be found and applied to professionals?
Disguised compliance involves parents and carers appearing to co-operate with professionals in order to allay concerns and stop professional engagement (Reder et al, 1993)1.
Having personally been born into the burden of the revelation of 36 years of severe parental alienation. I have a real understanding of the personal struggle to withstand, let alone assimilate the necessity to either psychologically sink or swim the tsunami of warring narratives. From birth, each adult coercively weaved their intent into my existence without regard for the long term impact on me. At such times, my mind is best described as suffocated under the torrent of conflict.
It is a travesty to find that the UK family court, social care systems, and private family proceedings are still victims of the same errors made some 50 years ago. Now more than ever, we need to promote early identification, thorough assessment, and a willingness to expedite ‘relevant’ multi-disciplinary/ agency course of action to eliminate PA’s impact on the families involved (Whitcombe, 2014). Expedite in the best interest of the child – as a whole. Prevent the entrenchment of irreversible psychological harm and reduce unnecessarily ‘enforced’ parent-child separations (Baker, Bone & Ludmer, 2014).
Having witnessed the many perilous journeys of others, the unbridled nonchalance seen (and reported) towards the traumatising impact of PA surely gives us reason enough to cultivate a more effective evaluation of the work undertaken on behalf of these children. Our systems are commonly paraded by the wayward and so-called ‘expert’ assessors. Why are assessment and diagnosis allowed to continue to move on to direct malformed practice? Surely we can all see that it does nothing more than feed protracted proceedings, animosity, as well as child suffering. Indeed, it is time that such is brought to a close.
An Informed Adult Survivor
Baker. A., Bone. M., & Ludmer. B. (2014). High Conflict Custody Battle: Protect Yourself and Your Kids from Toxic Divorce, False Accusation & Parental Alienation. New Harbinger Publications, Inc: New York
Childress, D. (2021). The solution: AB-PA Meets New Requirements. WordPress
Reder, P., Duncan, S.and Gray, M. (1993) Beyond blame: child abuse tragedies revisited. London: Routledge.
Whitecombe, S. (2014) Parental Alienation – time to notice, time to intervene. New Voices vol. 27 no1. Academia
Beyond Defining Parental Alienation 